Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
