I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
