so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
