just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
