We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
