Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
