if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
