For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
