You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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