I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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