You just made me feel so damn special
pop tarts are not kleenex
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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