I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
