dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
