That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
