I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
