4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
