I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
