Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
