are you still at the devil's house?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
