Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
