This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
