yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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