So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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