So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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