listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
