I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
