I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
