shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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