if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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