PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
