I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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