there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
