these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
