I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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