i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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