Apparently you make a good broom.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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