We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
