come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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