my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
