I think im going to throw up on grandma
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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