My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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