So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
