i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
