He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
