If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
