Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
