I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
