i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
