Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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