Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So. Much. Porn.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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