kristin has been a bad kristin
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
