Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
